my nourishment non-negotiables
and the case for gentle boundaries + a journal prompt to kickstart your own list
Dear reader,
This month I’ve been connecting with a lot more people who have been struggling to set themselves up for success through big changes, through flareups, through tough conversations, and even through the changing of the seasons. Moving through the world while maintaining any sense of balance has always been a collective challenge. But, it always amazes me to witness when someone wakes up to that truth for the first time. There are so many reasons why someone might move through life in survival mode or stay aligned with the rhythm of “The Machine” without realizing it. Sometimes it’s because things have felt stable for a long time, or because systems were built to reward disconnection and endurance over care. But eventually, the noise quiets, and many of us are left asking the same question, “What does it mean to actually care for myself, now that I see things more clearly?”
Personally, October has been about recalibrating my inner compass through a lens of discernment. To notice what truly nourishes me, what drains me, and what I’ve been holding onto just because it’s familiar. Discernment isn’t just about being on guard. It’s about staying open, without being a catch-all for everything and everyone. It’s about knowing when to lean in, when to pause, and when to put up gentle boundaries—the kind that can keep us from slipping into despair mode when we can use those moments to prioritize rest, joy, or to just simply be.
It’s a quiet, steady knowing that helps me make choices that feel like care, not compromise. Discernment is how I stay aligned. It reminds me that not everything needs my energy, and that’s okay. So, when chaos knocks on my door or despair makes its presence known after bouts of doomscrolling, I know I have to realign and recalibrate. These are my nourishment non-negotiables for when the world starts to feel a liiiiittle too loud and my sanity is being tested:
for the body
taking intentional phone breaks - I have a small hanging basket for my phone so the action of storing it feels like a real break.
cooking and eating foods that belong to the season I’m in.
trying to stick to my usual rituals of care.
stretching, even if I’m just reaching for the sky while waiting for the kettle.
sunlight on my face when possible, especially on cold days.
rest before burnout makes its presence known.
unmasking days! if you’re high functioning AuDHD, like me, scheduling days to unmask is really hard, yet really incredible!
for the mind
reading, or letting someone read to me (audiobooks count).
learning a new cooking technique or recipe.
one hobby or craft a month—no pressure to be good or to finish in time, the idea is just to make my hands busy. For example, this month I’m looking into knitting the Lakes Pullover by Ozetta. (Comment your favorite yarn stores online or IRL please!)
getting “thinking of you” gifts for close friends when I’m tempted to buy something for myself that I don’t really need.
scheduling my to-dos around energy, not urgency.
straight up: therapy.
for the woo woo moments
watching trees move in the wind—I will never ever get tired of this as my favorite regulating activity.
chasing shadows across walls, sidewalks, my own hands.
taking “noticing” walks instead of step-count walks and bringing back a flower, rock, or leaf for my altar.
finding water—creeks in summer, hot baths or saunas in winter
self-pleasure to remember I’m a sexual being with or without partnership.
hugs with intention.
Discernment, for me, has become less about perfect choices and more about honest ones. It’s how I remember to come back into my body amidst the chaos. Wanna make your own? Here’s a journal promt to kickstart your own nourishment non-negotiables: What if I treated my life like something worth savoring, even in the in-between?
If you’re interested in a slower, softer way to create + live, let’s work together. You can also find me on instagram, pinterest + tiktok, or say hi at: hi@gentler.day.
NOTE: Some links on this newsletter may lead you to an affiliate link. Rest assured that I only share things I absolutely love and as always, I appreciate your support!
Love